Thursday, November 19, 2009

My two encounters with Florida's Next Governor

A few weeks ago I met the democratic nominee for Governor of the Great State of Florida. (we were drinking.) Okay, I was drinking. all right, full disclosure, it was at a fundraiser thing and they had some wine, so I had a glass. She was asking me for money. Okay, more disclosure, She was asking everyone that was at the thing for money. That was the whole point of the little get together. I shook her hand really quickly and said something stupid, got nervous and then made a fart sound with my armpit and my hand, bailed out of that situation and caught a waiter with some meatballs and those little toothpicks on a trey.
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Yesterday, I ran into her again while I was up in Tallahassee and she tried to act like she didn't remember me, but this time she wasn't asking for money, so I think our relationship is developing nicely. (Seriously who forgets me?) I was in a group and she was speaking to the whole group, then she bailed out, so maybe she did remember me but she certainly did not wink back at me.
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I might have made the part up about making those fart sounds with my armpit and my hand, but the thing about the meatballs was absolutely true. They had swedish meatballs at the fundraiser (I like to turn my profile to people and hold the toothpick on the side of my nose so it makes it look like I have gigantic, meatball looking boogers, that dangle down above my upper lip) Thats just me.
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I did know that I shouldn't do it in that particular situation, however. I feel like my restraint is quite remarkable when I concentrate on it, but in all honesty I was wondering if it would have gotten a laugh? I once stuck some money up my nostril at a real live party though. Its kind of my idea on how to pick up women. If you have twenty dollar bills hanging from your nostrils they just assume you sneeze money. Chicks seriously would dig a guy that sneezes money. At least until this damn Swine Flu epidemic.
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Seriously, Swine Flu is killing my game.
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